LoveAdrenalinh

Be original, don't become the mainstream. Mainstream is boring.

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Counting down the days to NYC and Above & Beyond’s Group Therapy 100th show at Madison Square Garden! It’s less than 3 months away!

Counting down the days to NYC and Above & Beyond’s Group Therapy 100th show at Madison Square Garden! It’s less than 3 months away!

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newagebass:

EDC LAS VEGAS 2014 

I normally don’t repost, but after seeing fireworks at EDC, the normal 4th of July fireworks display doesn’t compare. Just saying.

newagebass:

EDC LAS VEGAS 2014 

I normally don’t repost, but after seeing fireworks at EDC, the normal 4th of July fireworks display doesn’t compare. Just saying.

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My dad. Life lesson.

I had a great childhood. Sheltered, yes, but great. I grew up as “daddy’s girl”, & everyone knew that fact. Up until those years surrounding the new millennia, my view on my family was almost perfect. Because I was still a child, I didn’t realize the signs that surrounded me like I can see now when I look back into my childhood memories.
My mom, she has every right to feel the way she does, but she does not hold the right to force us kids to hate our father. What he did, it was under the influence of drugs, alcohol, gambling, and other things. My father never cared for his family the way a father should. He was never one for religion. He left us.
And because he left us, left me, it totally screwed me for the next decade or so. My self-esteem was shot. I was forced to revisit my demons over and over, and painfully become aware that he’ll never come back. I ruined a lot of my confidence, my relationships, and life itself. We kids endured the wrath of her anger towards our father, for years and years. People in the church looked at us with pity, in which I absolutely hated. I stopped believing in a church. I self-destructed. Amidst the self-destruction, I had to slowly build myself again. And here I am.
I never thought he was ever going to want to see us again; boy, was I ever wrong. If he had never wrote me a letter in response to the invitation to my college graduation, I wouldn’t know what to think of my dad. It’s still pretty recent, but my father became the bigger person and an actual father the day he decided he wanted to keep us kids in his life. I’m not how it happened, possibly because he has found God somehow, and that had changed him completely. No more drugs, no more drinking, no gambling; just him, church, work, and some time to try to see us kids. My mom doesn’t believe he’s changed, but maybe the hate she has filled in her heart for him has made her blind to it.
I don’t expect a family reunion between all of us to happen. I just want us kids to be able to see him without going behind her back, without her trying to remind us what he did over a decade ago, what he was then. If she could open her mind and her eyes, she could see how much this really means to us, especially to me. Hate and regret gets one nowhere. Is it really that hard for a person to become the bigger person, to let go of grudges, hate, and regrets, and forgive? It appears so. I’m not putting my mother down either. She is an amazing woman, and one hell of a mother. I love her to death, and without her, I would not know where I’d be. I grew up as “daddy’s girl”, but somewhere in time after high school and some broken relationships later, I became “Momma’s girl” too.
I’ve grown up. I’ve let go of many, if not all, of my past, my grudges, and regrets. That step in itself, had made me a better person. It doesn’t mean I’ll be nice to everyone who has screwed me royally in the past; I’m not that much of a forgiving idiot, but maybe there’s a second chance of some kind of reconciliation or closure. Life is too little for petty things, but I will treat you the way you treat me. That’s only fair.
I have both my parents, who I know now who loves me to no end. They show their love differently. They don’t dote on me, but I know from their actions they do care, a lot. It may not be the perfect parent situation, but I’ll take both parents loving me over none.

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[non]Trust with Asians

Many people from the Gulf coast, particularly Asians, are amongst a group of people that I barely trust or befriend. And those that I have a slim chance to trust, yeah, after a couple trips where you guys happen to be in the same city as me because you caught on to the festival fad, or whatever you call it, I really don’t trust you guys. You all are just acquaintances, in my opinion. I don’t live a party life. Don’t say that I’m always partying. 25 days out of the month I’m cooped up in my apartment, my parents’ house, or with the boyfriend. I don’t like surrounding myself with large groups of Asians. I’m not exactly racist towards my own, I just prefer not to surround myself with close-minded people who are absolutely going nowhere, with the only things going for them are partying, material things, and gossip mill. I always have that nagging feeling when shit goes down the hole, you’ll save yourself and stab me in the back. Yeah, I said it [on tumblr, anyways, knowingly 98% won’t read this unless someone has been snooping, etc.]
Now, the Asians I do hang out with, they have motivation, drive, are well-socialized and educated. You understand why I don’t like hanging out with “Asians”, because you have a similar reason. Thanks for not letting me be the only person who feels this way.

[Rant over]

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Partied til the sun rose at #edclv #edcdayone #edclv2014. If it wasn’t for these two to convince me to do EDC, I wouldn’t have gone. My two favorite people: the boyfriend and the girlfriend. ❤️❤️ (at Electric Daisy Carnival - Las Vegas Motor Speedway)

Partied til the sun rose at #edclv #edcdayone #edclv2014. If it wasn’t for these two to convince me to do EDC, I wouldn’t have gone. My two favorite people: the boyfriend and the girlfriend. ❤️❤️ (at Electric Daisy Carnival - Las Vegas Motor Speedway)

Filed under edcdayone edclv2014 edclv

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Outfits for EDC Las Vegas are almost 100% finished! Vegas in less than a month away!

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A huge thanks to my friends and family who came out to see me walk the stage for my Bachelor’s degree! Words cannot describe how happy I am for those who came, and for others who wished me for a happy graduation and the most thoughtful words of encouragement. #ididit #GoJags #graduation #southalabama

A huge thanks to my friends and family who came out to see me walk the stage for my Bachelor’s degree! Words cannot describe how happy I am for those who came, and for others who wished me for a happy graduation and the most thoughtful words of encouragement. #ididit #GoJags #graduation #southalabama

Filed under southalabama ididit gojags graduation

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You just don’t understand.. #prettylights with the live band is something else. & it was my second time seeing PL with the live band this year. Didn’t disappoint. #jazzfest #neworleans

Filed under jazzfest prettylights neworleans

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A week in Miami.

Miami, round 2. Holy shit, that was definitely needed, and with some of the best people I could ever ask to live with for a week. I finally met my girlfriend of almost two years from LA, her boyfriend, her boyfriend’s friends, and a random couple from the TomorrowWorld Group who ended up being pretty awesome as well, and time well spent with my amazing boyfriend. Ultra was bittersweet; I loved the energy and the lineup this year, and the acts we saw were amazing, I just hate how now the EDM scene is fueled with drugs and people who do not appreciate the music. Every time a person thinks of an EDM festival, they automatically zero in the thought of a huge drug-fueled rave. It’s not. It’s so much more than that. I think that’s a huge reason why I’m retreating back into deep house, techno, and trance, because the new house scene is all fucked.

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Let’s get back to positive views. I’m suffering from withdrawals of my Ultra group and living in South Beach. Everything was just so natural to me; I loved it. No judgments, even though some of these people I barely knew, they were still like family. That is what you call PLUR. It’s not about the fucking “kandi”; it’s the positive vibes and feeling like a family even though we’re strangers, we’re connected through our love for electronic music. God, all those memories we made in a week, I would never forget them. I may need reminders here and there, but those memories will always leave an imprint in my memory and heart. 

Trevis Lee Hopkins

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I’m falling for this guy, and fast. Faster than I ever had before. This southern Cajun boy has been able to tug me out of my casual dating habits and delving into something serious. He is seriously really good for me. His positivity, no matter what happens, inspire me to be a better person. Never has he thrown a negative comment or statement towards me; not when I accidentally broke his pipe, not when I lost his pair of RayBans, not when he has a bad day. Always complimenting me, always telling me how much he misses me, means to him, never complaining about paying for almost everything, and almost always letting me get my way. It’s true what they say, couples that rave together, stay together; & thank god we have other rave couples that we can share our experiences with. I’m glad he has gotten along with everyone that he has met so far. I’ve met his mom, and she’s great; she’s done a good job with him. Next up is officially meeting the grandparents and baby brother.

Our festivals this year are EDC with Niza&Oscar, Kris, and the rest of our festival family, and TomorrowWorld with Jaime&Matt, and the rest of our TW family. Pretty Lights with the full live band is coming at the end of this month, and I cannot wait to see that again, after the Bill Engvall comedy show at the IP; can’t wait to take him to his first comedy show! & we really need to buy our Vegas flights soon for EDC! June cannot come fast enough!

I graduate in 33 days; I can’t wait! My mom is ecstatic that I’ll be walking the stage; if it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have done it, but since she wants me to, I’ll have to do what she wants. She’s one proud, supportive momma, that’s for sure. I start grad school for exercise physiology this fall. 

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A letter from my dad.

Just recently, I had been on the debate on whether to send an invitation to my estranged dad or not. Trevis has been more than supportive on this, especially since he underwent a similar situation and knows exactly how I’m hurting from this; despite what he went through, he still is keeping positive and confronted his feelings. As Trev says, “it doesn’t hurt to try, right? At least if you try to reach out, you’ll know whether he still remembers you or not. And if he doesn’t realize how beautiful of a girl you have grown to be, he doesn’t deserve your tears.” And so, I sent the invitation off to him, in which my mom doesn’t even know about it. I actually did not expect a response at all, but instead, I received a letter, and so fast. I was definitely nervous about reading its contents, since I have not spoken to my dad in over a decade. 

(translated from Vietnamese)
Dear Linh, 
I have received your pictures that you sent. You have grown so beautifully, even more than I would have ever expected. If I was to see you in passing in public, I probably wouldn’t have been able to recognize you because you have grown up so much and more beautiful as time goes by. Are you well?
As for me, I recently just got out of prison, and I have been shrimping for the past several months. Since shrimping season is over right now, I have been at home waiting for May to come. When May comes, I will back shrimping on the boat. Dad wishes you the best on your journey, wherever you are going.

Dad.”

This letter has me at tears, because despite my telling people how much I don’t need my dad, I feel that I do, and despite what he has done, I still love him. All these years of hurting because I didn’t know whether my dad loved me or not, all those times I wished he would just reach out to me in some way, and it’s finally here. This affects me so much more than it does to my brothers, probably because growing up, I was always “daddy’s girl”. . I’m still crying as I type this, because no one knows how important this is to me, aside from Trevis and my closest circle. And to know that he seems to be proud of me is more than enough.

One day soon, I’ll brave a visit to see him, one day. I really do miss my dad, and despite everything, I still want to be back to being “daddy’s little girl”. I’m not sure how my mom is going to feel about this, and that’s what is really making me feel on the edge..