Miami, round 2. Holy shit, that was definitely needed, and with some of the best people I could ever ask to live with for a week. I finally met my girlfriend of almost two years from LA, her boyfriend, her boyfriend’s friends, and a random couple from the TomorrowWorld Group who ended up being pretty awesome as well, and time well spent with my amazing boyfriend. Ultra was bittersweet; I loved the energy and the lineup this year, and the acts we saw were amazing, I just hate how now the EDM scene is fueled with drugs and people who do not appreciate the music. Every time a person thinks of an EDM festival, they automatically zero in the thought of a huge drug-fueled rave. It’s not. It’s so much more than that. I think that’s a huge reason why I’m retreating back into deep house, techno, and trance, because the new house scene is all fucked.
Let’s get back to positive views. I’m suffering from withdrawals of my Ultra group and living in South Beach. Everything was just so natural to me; I loved it. No judgments, even though some of these people I barely knew, they were still like family. That is what you call PLUR. It’s not about the fucking “kandi”; it’s the positive vibes and feeling like a family even though we’re strangers, we’re connected through our love for electronic music. God, all those memories we made in a week, I would never forget them. I may need reminders here and there, but those memories will always leave an imprint in my memory and heart.
Trevis Lee Hopkins
I’m falling for this guy, and fast. Faster than I ever had before. This southern Cajun boy has been able to tug me out of my casual dating habits and delving into something serious. He is seriously really good for me. His positivity, no matter what happens, inspire me to be a better person. Never has he thrown a negative comment or statement towards me; not when I accidentally broke his pipe, not when I lost his pair of RayBans, not when he has a bad day. Always complimenting me, always telling me how much he misses me, means to him, never complaining about paying for almost everything, and almost always letting me get my way. It’s true what they say, couples that rave together, stay together; & thank god we have other rave couples that we can share our experiences with. I’m glad he has gotten along with everyone that he has met so far. I’ve met his mom, and she’s great; she’s done a good job with him. Next up is officially meeting the grandparents and baby brother.
Our festivals this year are EDC with Niza&Oscar, Kris, and the rest of our festival family, and TomorrowWorld with Jaime&Matt, and the rest of our TW family. Pretty Lights with the full live band is coming at the end of this month, and I cannot wait to see that again, after the Bill Engvall comedy show at the IP; can’t wait to take him to his first comedy show! & we really need to buy our Vegas flights soon for EDC! June cannot come fast enough!
I graduate in 33 days; I can’t wait! My mom is ecstatic that I’ll be walking the stage; if it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have done it, but since she wants me to, I’ll have to do what she wants. She’s one proud, supportive momma, that’s for sure. I start grad school for exercise physiology this fall.
Just recently, I had been on the debate on whether to send an invitation to my estranged dad or not. Trevis has been more than supportive on this, especially since he underwent a similar situation and knows exactly how I’m hurting from this; despite what he went through, he still is keeping positive and confronted his feelings. As Trev says, “it doesn’t hurt to try, right? At least if you try to reach out, you’ll know whether he still remembers you or not. And if he doesn’t realize how beautiful of a girl you have grown to be, he doesn’t deserve your tears.” And so, I sent the invitation off to him, in which my mom doesn’t even know about it. I actually did not expect a response at all, but instead, I received a letter, and so fast. I was definitely nervous about reading its contents, since I have not spoken to my dad in over a decade.
(translated from Vietnamese)
I have received your pictures that you sent. You have grown so beautifully, even more than I would have ever expected. If I was to see you in passing in public, I probably wouldn’t have been able to recognize you because you have grown up so much and more beautiful as time goes by. Are you well?
As for me, I recently just got out of prison, and I have been shrimping for the past several months. Since shrimping season is over right now, I have been at home waiting for May to come. When May comes, I will back shrimping on the boat. Dad wishes you the best on your journey, wherever you are going.
This letter has me at tears, because despite my telling people how much I don’t need my dad, I feel that I do, and despite what he has done, I still love him. All these years of hurting because I didn’t know whether my dad loved me or not, all those times I wished he would just reach out to me in some way, and it’s finally here. This affects me so much more than it does to my brothers, probably because growing up, I was always “daddy’s girl”. . I’m still crying as I type this, because no one knows how important this is to me, aside from Trevis and my closest circle. And to know that he seems to be proud of me is more than enough.
One day soon, I’ll brave a visit to see him, one day. I really do miss my dad, and despite everything, I still want to be back to being “daddy’s little girl”. I’m not sure how my mom is going to feel about this, and that’s what is really making me feel on the edge..